Author Adelaide Green

To explain where I am at I need to start from the beginning.

It all started when I was younger, younger than I am now.

I remember the words “cancer.”

I’m sure anyone who has heard it in reference to someone they love has felt the same sting.

My first thought had been “People beat cancer, it’ll be okay, He’s my dad, hes invincible.”

And then my mom said “It’s terminal, it’s stage 4 and it’s rare.”

It’s weird how rare can seem good in some cases “a rare diamond”, “a rare species of animal.” It seems good, harmless, almost a miracle.

But with any health disease, rare, is suddenly bad, a death sentence.

My mom sent the email about next steps and what we would doing moving forward.

The email was about how to ease everything and maybe shrink the cancer, to give him more time.

I knew that should feel like a win, more time, they said 90 days if he started treatment.

But 90 days didn’t seem like enough time at all.

He made it almost 2 years though.

He fought harder than any of us knew he could.

That was our blessing, more time.

But that blessing often times feels like a curse.

My dad lost 100 lbs. (he was 250 when he started out)

He lost his hair, He lost his laugh. He lost his twinkle.

We lost him slowly and then all at once.

I miss him now as I always do. His birthday and Father’s Day loom.

Still missing you daddy, still thinking of you.