Author Adelaide Green

I was just reading an analogy I like.

That grief is a circle in a box, this box has a hurt button.

When someone first dies the circle is much too big for the box so the hurt button is continually pressed.

As time goes on the circle gets smaller and the chances of if hitting the hurt button are less frequent.

Something can trigger it and you’re back to that initial grief.

From my own grief though I’m not sure at least for me it’s that simple.

My grief sometimes changes. During the winter that button doesn’t seem to be fully pressed.

For my it was a half press. I thought about my dad every day.

Somedays it was painful, some days less but every day it hurt.

For months.

It’s been almost two years since he died.

He died on the day before my son’s third birthday.

A date that I won’t ever be able to forget.

My son turns five this year and lately all I’ve felt is pain.

I know my ball has shrunk, I do agree with that.

But it sometimes feels like it half pushes my button, not always fully.

Sometimes I can pull myself out of it sometimes I can’t.

So I think this is a neat concept, one that is nice to have.

But it makes grief seem a little too black and white for me.

I’m a person who lives their life mostly in the grey’s and happily so.

I think I have one big circle and one deflated circle. The deflated one pushes the button but not quite as hard.