Author Adelaide Green

So here I am. I didn’t watch all of the Super Bowl, or most of it honestly. A common catch phrase in my house is “Tom Brady is gross!” I heard snippets of it from the Bad Daddy’s bathroom but not enough to care.

But what I do care about is that today I woke up to a world hating on Maroon 5. They will not be loved, not today. I saw a photo of Adam Levine shirtless and my thoughts were “Why? How? When?” So I got to make up my own narrative and chose to think about why I would be in that situation. Stinky pits, throw up belonging to someone else, a drink belonging to someone else. And I’m thinking that maybe this is a plausible explanation.

Tip for Adam Levine so that he won’t be in misery with no one comforting him, carry deodorant and an extra shirt at all times. I have a “care package” in my car for myself. Some powder for those hot chafing days, some deodorant for those hot stinky days, extra shirt for bodily fluids that are not my own and extra underwear because after having two kids I can’t sneeze without dribbling.

Now my thoughts about them performing for the super bowl? Well it’s hard to say. If they were my sons I’d ask for them to at least pick a charity that aligned with why people were kneeling. Having two young sons of course a charity for children hits home for me but also completely takes away why players were kneeling in the first place. But that’s a completely different post. For now I’d like to call Adam from a pay phone and tell him to buy a clip on fan or fan necklace, I give them to my sons in the summer  and it takes away the need to remove clothes in public.